ROMANSWERS—Practical answers to common questions troubling relationships, romance, and marriage. "Can someone be too self-centered and spoiled to make marriage work?" That depends on what you mean by "work." If spoiled is associated with being extremely self-centered like you say, but you are equally "other-centered," dedicated to satisfying your partner’s needs before your own, than the marriage can work very badly, very well. You get to serve, your partner gets to be served; you do all the giving, your partner does all the taking; and in general, you both agree to live on your partner’s one-way terms. For most people, however, what works best is where both parties are actively committed to mutuality, to a two-way relationship that benefits them each. Mutuality has three components. Reciprocity. Both partners are dedicated to an exchange of giving because they want to contribute to the welfare of each other. Both partners are dedicated to an exchange of giving because they want to contribute to the welfare of each other. Compromise. Both partners are dedicated to the welfare of their relationship, and to that end willing to sacrifice some self-interest in conflicts to meet each other halfway and forge agreements that serve them both. Both partners are dedicated to the welfare of their relationship, and to that end willing to sacrifice some self-interest in conflicts to meet each other halfway and forge agreements that serve them both. Consideration. Both partners are dedicated to not knowingly causing injury to each other, both sensitive to and careful around each other’s vulnerabilities. Both partners are dedicated to not knowingly causing injury to each other, both sensitive to and careful around each other’s vulnerabilities. Spoiled people often act as if they should receive but shouldn’t have to give, that disagreements should all be settled in their favor, and that the only feelings that matter are their own. So, if you want mutual relationship, then insist that your partner learn to live on two-way terms.